francescob

AFB

2007-09-08T20:17:19Z

so im on an airforce base. i see alot of things since ive been in the military. good and bad. i remember when sharon wrote to me and said i will see the darkest side of humanity as well as the brightest while serving in the military. i would have to agree completly. but neway being here has been pretty cool for the most part, except the 8 mile runs everyday, but that pain is only temporary and wont kill me, although you feel like you want to die. Anyway being a marine has really helped me in the sense my personality is how it used to be, confident again, not worried about girls and the such, and being able to relax and not worry so fucking much. It also helps that im a marine on an airforce base, thats a big ole confidence boost, i wont get into anymore than that but yeah its nice, haha. ive also learned girls are just like guys except on the downlow! haha, i guess thats good for us marines, but it aint so good for the airforce girls husbands or boyfriends, whatever.my job is electronics technician and fixing and repairing gear. its alot harder than it sounds. seriously. ill be here in mississippi till december and than i go to my first duty station. btw did i mention im trying to get married sometime in december?

you know its all because of you...

2007-05-08T03:34:58Z

well im back, got in around april 21st or so. Ive been incredibly busy. I had 10 days to myself, decided to visit friends in carbondale. Enemies became friends,simple as that. Ive matured i guess. Im still silly and quirky as ever, made a new friend Steve, cool dude. Made many many new friends at bootcamp who will be friends for life. Im on RA assistance it kind of sucks. I dont like tryin to convince people to join the marines. When i joined i did it on my own, i walked in and signed the dotted line. Now i got to go around asking people to join, its lame. Anyway, i celebrated cinco de mayo downtown. Well didnt really celebrate it as much as hungout with friends i knew from southern. My friend Jessica who is 4 months pregnant and her roomies, Jayna, her cousin Fernado. Jessica ive been in love with since ive met her like 3 years ago, the moment i saw her i knew she was a special woman.We spent a special night hangning out. It was all so spontaneous. She messaged me on myspace and asked when we can see each other, i hopped on a train and sped 100miles for 2 hours to meet her at her place downtown. It was like in a movie. We ate good sushi(expensive as fuck!!)drank wine,laughed alot and were silly fools, her friend jayna is a riot, and her cousin is fun as fuck. we spent the night together. we cuddled in her bed for what seemed like days. i held her belly in my hands wishing i was the father,bad i know. I even asked her (half jokingly or maybe not,ok not jokingly) to get married and move to cali with me, i dont know if she gave it a second thought, but i saw a 3rd thought behind her eyes and comptimplation there. when we woke i sat up cross legged and watched her sleep. She woke and than put her head in my lap wrapping her arms around my waist. I sat there thinking more about the future as she fell asleep that way. i could have stayed that way forever, but alas i had to leave eventually. wishful thinking. i felt compelled to write about this because its the first time in almost 4 months that ive felt any kind of emotion. i really do love that girl and her unborn child, i told her if she ever changed her mind that my offer would stand forever, she laughed and said forever, i said yes.Semper Fidelis

Hmmm

2007-01-21T06:19:26Z

When it comes to falling in love there are, I think, two kinds of people. The first one who has a well-laid plan by which they seek a partner that possesses certain preferred qualities and characteristics. Upon finding such a person, they pursue a cautious and measured courtship, waiting for signs of reassurance before giving in to feelings of attachment, never taking too much risk, slowly and incrementally revealing more about themselves, until a respectable time has passed and a sense of comfort has been attained, before ever coming near uttering those three memorable words, “ I Love You.”

The second kind has no such plan or patience for caution. They will think nothing of the risk being taken when investing in someone, nor will they bother to proceed carefully, but will choose instead to reveal everything about themselves to whomever wishes to know them. These are the people who believe in serendipity, who trust their feelings and are led by their heart, who are on a relentless quest to find, earn, and keep love in their lives. These are the people who do not tiptoe into love, but instead know only to dive in, head first, with abandon.

i guess im the second one. what is seredipity.

Live in the past,die in the past.

2007-01-19T21:44:14Z

Okay so last night was pretty effin fun. I was picked up by Jeff and matt. Went to northwoods, which is usually a freaking highschool reunion. I talked to my cousin for a bit, sat and talked with my friends, than we headed to holsteins in tinley. Place was a little better in terms of crowd. The beer was a dollar a bottle, thats why they wanted to come here. I see an old friend from highschool one who i originally started break dancing with, he didnt recognize me, because my hair was freshly shaved, and so was my face. Recognition appeared on his face, and he immediatly asked when im leaving for boot, and said his bro just got back from iraq. We talked about breakdancing,hair(hes a stylist) and girls. He pointed me to the dance floor and said we will be getting out there soon, i said sure come find me and we'll tear it up. so we go sit down, look over the room, i notice alot of females staring into my direction,but you know what nobody comes over to me, i guess i look more intimidating now,i almost look like im already in the military, even if they did i wouldnt have any interest. so we hangout laugh talk joke, than Andrew comes over with his posse of 5 girls, and he makes it a point to say there single. So they grab me and we head to the dance floor,he kicks it off by doing so wave and liquad moves. He bows to me as to give up the dance floor, i jump in with a head flip(its exactly what it sounds like) than go into six step,six step,air freeze,six step,windmill,head flip.Haha it was fun, and alot of people came up to me saying that was the shit. Andrew said i still got it, i let him know i havent practiced or done that in such a long time, the last time was my 2 person dance party in my apartment at creekside. So i sit down, and all these people are staring at me still. Im like wtf so i go to the bathroom to look myself over,make sure theres no boogey hanging. And all the guys in there ask me if i was the one breakin,i said yes, they said be honest, how much ass do you get by doing that? I just laugh it off, it aint noones business, i guess im a gentleman. We left a little after, went to the bar that closes at 4am, place is usually packed but wasnt, see more old friends, Joey, who i went to highschool with and who was also there at southern for 2 years, and we hungout alot, but he dropped out and i never saw him. He was like holy shit man, long time,i said yeah, he asked what ive been up to the usual talk, and i told him i leave sunday for the marines, he was like holy shit man, no way, you nervous? I said no, gave him the details of everything, he said come sit with him with all his friends,met his gf and other friends.Nice people. Hes a genuine guy and i always thought he was cool. One thing though is i cant see how people party and drink and get wasted so often. I saw the most in college, and i never partook in the festivities that often,very rarely actually. I wouldnt mind though just drinking with me and one other. But i dont know. It was a good experience.Shit and i saw my good friend bob, who claims he never has money and cant go out at all. So i let him know i was pissed at him for blowing me off and he said he knows im pissed and that itll be fine, i sat with him a while and his 2 bandmates, and talked music ecetera,i asked who there singer was,because they were looking for one, and he said himself and some other guy who wasnt there, i laughed in his face, because he aint no singer. Good times though, and i didnt have to get wasted or shitfaced to enjoy myself or the company of others.

Alone..but for how long?

2007-01-13T05:35:53Z

Well i asked my recruiter yesterday if there is anyone who is
going to be leaving for camp the time i am.
He looked at me and laughed.I mean i had a feeling no one was
but this made me feel uncomfortable slighty.
he said haha nope noone, there all leaving in the summer.
he said why, are you scared?you would have liked a buddy?
i said sure but theres nothing i can do about it right.
so im going somewhere where i truly know noone
and ill be alone on my flight,thats scary,since ive never flown before.
but on the brightside its to somewhere ive always wanted to go San Diego,i wish i could have been going on different terms, but life has a funny way of ruining plans.
i mean im not scared persay, the physical stuff is gonna be a breeze pretty much
the sergeants at the recruiter made it a point of callin me out and asking why i
am so buff and so in shape,they forget i studyed and am certified, they made up a story , they call me Castro,as in Fidel, they said your in shape and ready to go because you want to breeze through bootcamp,get your own platoon to lead, and be able to see how we operate stuff and send it back to cuba, i said yeah my dad aint a US citizen, but Italy and Cuba are not even close to being the same. I laughed and so did everyone else.I mean i do plan on getting my own platoon, and getting private first class before i even go into camp. So i will be ahead of the pack,i figure if im gonna do something, im gonna do it right, and the best i can, i want to inspire others you know, and be someone people can look up to.I mean its gonna be hard work goin somewhere ive never been, meeting people i dont know, but thats half the adventure right? I mean why spend time worrying about it. I leave in 9 days. Just need to keep my physique and mind set where its at. Just hangon for the ride and the new experience, and be glad of all the friends i will make and stay with me for a lifetime, true friends, something i have very few of these days. well except sharon of course :o)
I need to get my sleep pattern a little better to, i mean that will get straightened out after about a day of bootcamp,but now i have trouble falling asleep before 2 am. If everything is on schedule i will be graduating on Friday April 29th, i will spend the night in san diego at my grandparents time share, and hit the town with my uncle. Saturday i will fly home for 10 days, maybe hit carbondale to hangout with Jason and all them if there not to busy for a few days. Than its back to Cali for combat training,than to i think Florida for my MOS training. Im cold at the moment,and shivering because the window is open, i like to think in the cold, it seems to make my mind clear, but im pretty effin excited.

College Life=Fucking Bitches,Getting Wasted?

2007-01-11T21:23:29Z

I didnt know your college career was suppose to be spent fucking bitches,getting shit faced,blasted,hammered,plastered. What happened to doing what you were suppose to be doing there in the first place. I understand you can do this in moderation, but moderation in moderation right. With the risk of stds, and all the drug use in college towns, i would be scared. Hell its scary. Im glad i got out of that shit hole town of carbondale. It seems the only type of people there are the ones i dislike,smokers,boozers,sluts,hypocrites. except for my group of friends of course. See none of em smoke,do drugs or are promiscuis(sp?) Its so hard to find friends like that in a college town. They dont try hard to impress everyone,they dont wake up every morning and put on a fake face so people cant see there real selves. I hope my brother college experience is much better than mine. Hes a smart kid, and he has his priorities straight. Now he just needs to decide where to go, St louis, or depaul.Also in college when your dating someone you shouldnt be concerned about how other woman are doing, or when you should plan to get together. What ever happened to monogamy and being faithful? Sometimes i wish i was born in the 30's. because i have a feeling the 50's would have been a great time. You know the whole lovers decade. I know the 60's but thats hippies and free love. Im talking about love songs on the radio constantly,holding hands,love letters, like The Flamingos.
Edit: It also seems like people spend entirly to much time on there facebooks and myspaces.Like alot alot of time. Ole well,whatever floats your boat. History repeats...

Eww

2007-01-10T06:01:40Z

So i heard some news today.
That woman look for people who are currently enlisted in the arm services
for the specific purpose of marriage
they want all the benefits they would get
including death benefits
i just cant believe there is money grubbin woman out there like that
who prey upon miliatary men, thankfully i can see through girls like that
but still its just crazy, they tell us to watch out.

The Devil and God are raging inside me

2007-01-06T23:00:02Z

okay so ive been sick as effing crap lately.
i dont think it stems from any sort of virus or anything like that.
when the mind is sick so shall the body be.
the two are interconnected and cannot be separated
i know whats been causing my sickness
its just the thought of her with another boy
and her need for me has been replaced
on top of that an air force boy who drinks and smokes and curses ecetera
and who thinks he can kick my ass
im not even sure hes in the airforce? but im past caring.
and all the things there doing together,kissing,oral sex,sex,ecetera
after all that talk of how weird it would be to have sex with someone else
to be with someone else
how we never wanted another
just like him, its was nothing but talk.on her part.
ive been reading that buddhist book on anger titled Anger, haha
although im not buddhist
it still is helping me a lot
im letting it go bit by bit
anger is like a seed, the bad seeds should not be watered,
water the seeds of hope and compassion
but when i think to it, i get sick to my stomach
maybe admitting it will help i dont know
but i leave in 2 weeks and will start my life anew in california
i am so excited,everyone asks me if im scared,but i say no
than they say your excited to start a new life huh
i say yes, but i think i want to be able to cherish everything,moreso than i do now
and never take anything for granted, and to follow a good path
i want to be appreciative of each and everyday, and what better way to do that than this,maybe im a masochist who knows
i dont know if shes been showing the police my journal
i will never write,email or call again,so noone needs to get there panties in a twist
i admit i have called and emailed in the past, because i thought we were adults
and sometimes i wasnt able to control it,reminds of this lyric,
"sorry about the phone call,and needing you, i know that it was late,i guess its just like breathing,but not wanting to, there are somethings you cant fake."
because he said its weird mean stuff you write to her
in here i dont write to her, but this is where i write the weird stuff
weird prose and poems of anger and animosity
but im writing to my psyche,my inner child, the person in me who feels condemned
and i dont think its fair for this to be shared but with my friends
who care about me and wish to know me better
i would never hurt her and to think so is just silly
i mean we are both alive in a sense right?
so things cant be to bad
she has hurt me yes, but i am not that person
ive never threatened her in any way, just tryed getting in contact
my father was, and i do all i can to not be him
i dont want to ever hurt a woman i want to be there for them
thats probably my problem when it boils down to it
i care to much maybe
anyway ive been listening to some amazing songs off Brand News new cd, courtesy of Sharon! Thanks!
Also its amazing how many people are proud of you for serving your country and how much respect they give you for even considering, especially in these extremely bad times, i feel a sense of honor and pride, and i hope to do my best to be able to protect my loved ones and friends, i would die for you guys.

Clear Skys

2007-01-04T06:04:23Z

So the weather has been extremely nice out lately.
The sky is clear.
The moon is full and waxy white with a hint of green, and the stars are out.
Reminds me of better times in carbondale
and the way the sky looked like away from big city lights
I think after i study my command orders and rank structure
im gonna do some good ole fashion writing in my notebook
maybe write a few songs
because thats one thing i want to do, is learn some more guitar
play some good songs
we'll see how it goes.

Ok.

2007-01-03T06:32:39Z

I just got done throwing up for almost 45 minutes.
How can an act be so disgusting but yet so soothing and calming?
I know the physical act of throwing up is not something to be desired
but the relief you feel afterwards is amazing
It is also cathardic in a way as well,for me anyways
Because when you throw-up you usually know whats making you
If not, you soon will see
I know whats making me throw-up
With my scracthed and acid worn throat i go to bed thoroughly exhausted
at 12:34, and thats saying something

Lately.

2007-01-03T05:12:56Z

It feels like my heart is racing constantly.
But when i check my pulse on my neck
the beat is slow and steady
But i can feel something surrounding my heart
The racing almost makes me naseous and lightheaded
Its like im almost holding my breath at moments
Like im waiting for something

Fresca...AHHH.

2007-01-01T19:42:39Z

The joy i got from taking my first shower in the new year.
Washing away the nights stale cigarette smell
the stink of alcohol
cheap perfume
even cheaper champagne
and even better, cleansing away the bad taste Julie left me with
and scrubing clean the stain of her
and exfoliating all that deadness away
i have that brand new car smell
actually i prefer brand new shoe smell

francescob @ 2006-12-31T03:52:00

2006-12-31T09:48:58Z

Wow.
22 days until i leave for California.
And i wont even be kissed tonite.

francescob @ 2006-12-27T21:46:00

2006-12-28T03:57:03Z

So i went to the bookstore tonite,just got back.
I could spend hours in that place looking over things.
I bought 4 books, 2 for Sharon 2 for me.
One book i cant wait to start on is written by Thich Nhat Hanh.
He is a very well known Buddhist. The book is called ANGER, Wisdom for cooling the flames.
It immediatly caught my attention when i was in the religion aisle.
Ive heard recently from sources saying i fucked things up with Julie and that I was the psycho. Theres 3 sides to a story,his,hers,and the truth. My side differs from hers i guess, things were fine mid july, the day she was leaving for the weekend to go to her cousins wedding, she came over, without makeup on, never saw it off her face, wearing a tshirt i bought her on an impulse because it made me think of her. We got ice cream,held hands. She pulled into my parking lot we kissed and said we talked in a couple days when everything was done. Who knew thats the last time i would see the real her. Maybe there was something more to the whole picture,her showing up without any makeup and wearing things i bought her. I could analyze it more, but im so tired. She called me saying she broke down at the wedding. I understood,i said call me when your better.Days went by no word. She left for a concert in Indiana.She gets back i recieve an email saying shes not wheres she wants to be and to forget about her. I was crushed/angry/sad. After all i was trying to do, getting a job, locating an apartment. She said forget about her, let her go. When i finally left for good, she calls me and says we should meet up in a few weeks when its all blown over. Im so confused. Well thats part of it, everything made me angry,furious,crazy even. Anyone who knows me knows i am none of these things,love makes you do things. Thats where the book comes in.I may have done things,said things,out of anger and hatred for what happened. Infact i know i did. Reading the back of the book i knew i had to buy it right away. It says "It was under the bodhi tree 25 centuries ago that Buddha achieved the insight that three states of mind were the source of all our unhappiness:wrong knowing,obsessive desire and anger.All are difficult, but in one instant of anger-one of the most powerful emotions-lives can be ruined,and health and spiritual development can be destroyed.With exquisite simplicity this book gives the toold and advice for transforming relationships,focusing energy,and rejuvenating those parts of ourselves that have been laid waste by anger."
I tryed to make amends, tryed talking like an adult,tryed communicating, i never thought i deserved what i got from her when it came to the ignoring me completly thing. Im trying to come to terms with myself and my new found anger and hopefully be able to look back on this, not with regret, but as a learning experience that will hopefully help me be a better person.

on a side note...

2006-12-26T00:02:53Z

I felt extreme joy christmas shopping for my dog sasha, my grandmas 2 mini datschunds Chica and Bravo, and my grandmas cat Chata. I went to petco a few days ago, I could spend hours in that place just looking around at all the interesting things, same goes for book stores. But i bought Sasha a huge rope chew toy, she demolishes those things, a bag of pig ears. I got Chica and Bravo these choco-round things. Its chocolate for dogs, but not real chocolate, they absolutly love them. I got Chata some soft chew salmon treats, some cosmic catnip. They all enjoyed them, my family tells me i spoil em, but i love them.

Merry Christmas? i think not..

2006-12-25T21:15:59Z

Ahh im so jaded my this holiday.
I knew this year was gonna be a bad one, considering what happened in my family.
i wasnt let down, because i knew it was going to be a bad christmas. I feel bad for my brother Nico. He had an optimistic outlook going in, but him and me talked for like an hour about the state of this family and everything. He said this family makes him pessismitic. I told him your just like me, you need to get away. I said dont worry about it, youll be going to school at a great university, St.Louis, and youll be away and be able to taste what its like getting on by yourself. Hes getting many many scholarships, hes in the top 3% of a school with a little under 3000 kids, and the school is a blue ribbon award winner for academics like 4 yrs in a row. He'll get away.My other brothers will not be so lucky. They do not do well academically, my little brother Tg has already been saying school doesnt matter because he wants to go into the marines. I told him thats a stupid descision, you may think thats hypocritcally of me, but its not. Hes only a freshman i H.S. he has time to get his act together. I chose the marines for many reasons, mainly to continue my education, not get away from it, and also find a job that will give me free reign to do what i want to do and work another job personal training.
Nico ranted about the 1 gift he got. It was a 10 dollar gift card to a movie theatre. From my aunt who makes over 150k a year, whos husbad works for ford and makes a shit ton too. He said its the thought that counts, but no thought seemed to be put into it, its like they were at the movies and were like oh fuck we need to get them something. They also gave that to my 2 other little brothers.Ahh well. Like i said i wasnt disappointed, ill be getting away soon enough and wont be concerned with petty bullshit, or petty people. I need to find a date for new years. I have several girls wanting to visit me for graduation already, a friend Alice, who ive known for 10 yrs, but lives in Rhode Island, if it waasnt for the distance we would be dating for sure. Her and I had a very interesting conversation the other day! Also the Girl in the white coat,haha, the one i described in another post, is someone who im definitly interested in so we shall see!

francescob @ 2006-12-23T23:47:00

2006-12-24T05:57:18Z

it all sorta makes sense.
when my relationship ended, it didnt hurt because
i wouldnt find anyone after her. eventually everyone gets involved
i never went out looking for relationships
but if there was someone that caught my eye(rarely happens)than i would
ive never done bad for myself, any of my friends have seen it and could
tell you themselves, i didnt "date" girls, but you get the idea
it hurt because i was done looking and i thought she was the one.
she had everything i wanted in my other half, the chemistry was extreme
thats why it hurt, dont you see?
im just relieved now that i can find not only attraction in a girl
but im not being scared away by what a girl could do to me and if she'll
turn out to be another Julie or not.

"you called to say you wanted out, i cant say i blame you now,sometimes youve got to fall before your found out. but thanks,thanks for waiting this long to show yourself,because now that i can see you, i dont think your worth a second glance,so much for all the promises you made, they served you well, but now your gone and there wasted on me, so much for your endearing sense of charm, it served well, now its gone and your wasted on me"

that song fits this situation so perfectly.
theres a song that fits the girl who i am currently pursuing, and the song is eeiry i was saying before.
im just happy i can move on from Julie for good.
i really should have stuck to my guns when she emailed me a few months back
everyone told me not to respond, if i had only knew she was reading my emails/facebook and was keeping tabs on me, kinda psycho if you ask me. it was selfish of her to do what she did, fortunatly i dont give a damn anymore.

francescob @ 2006-12-23T03:19:00

2006-12-23T09:18:07Z

omg the most eeriy/crazy/spooky thing just happened.
its make me get goose flesh over my body and making my skull tingle.
it refers to a song and a girl
and yeah.
very interesting, i believe in signs, and i dont believe there are coincidences.
im excited.

perfect

2006-12-21T05:19:53Z

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061221/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_iraq

Wish i could find a video or mp3 of this song to post

2006-12-19T19:25:31Z

All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song and
I'm sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can't wait.
(Yeah, some things just can't wait)

also

2006-12-19T07:32:19Z

some people talk about all the things they want to do
all there dreams and aspirations
most people never have the clout(is that the right word for this?okay i dont think it is but anyway)
most people never actually get off there ass to pursue these dreams
im actually doing things and making things happen
and im excited for once about the future
usually people are scared of the future because it is unknown
and that is one of mans greatest fears so says HPL
i always said i would be going to california and i am
i said i would be doing what i want and i am
some people say dont follow your heart because it will just get in your way
but i am doing that
my heart has always been one of my best attributes
i know im going into the marines, but if everything was easy
the rewards wouldnt be as sweet

The Future burns so brightly

2006-12-19T07:27:35Z

Im giddy with excitement!!!!
even though i was feeling down,i think its being alone in this house
but ive been finding ways to keep busy
and talking to people
and making sure im connected
and i had a frown earlier, but now i have a smile

francescob @ 2006-12-17T19:32:00

2006-12-18T01:32:37Z

everyone went to vegas,so im left to my own devices.
any i was in the bathroom the other day brushing my teeth
getting ready for bed
and my nose started bleeding
felt the liquid fire running down my lips over my chin
first reaction is to grab tissue to stop the flow
and than to throw your head back
i did that, at first
than i wanted to know how much blood would come out
if i didnt stop it
it was so bright red
flowing like a river
it started to congeal around my lips
like a blood mustache
i than took the blood from my lips and rubbed it on my cheeks
just below the eyes and around the corners of my mouth
it makes your skin a different hue
like when you put iodine on your skin
who does that?am i weird?

francescob @ 2006-12-15T22:22:00

2006-12-16T04:19:21Z

Okay i believe everything holds a memory
inanimate objects,animate objects all hold memories
or fingerprints of events that have taken place
some rooms echo these memories,and this is where
we get haunted houses and things from
today i cut my hair
6 months of growth
thats alot of length
considering my hair grows really fast a half an inch or more a month
buzzed it all off
as the hair was falling around me
and into my outstretched hands
i could almost see the memories this hair held for me
it was around 6 months ago
the fingerprint was there
i shucked it off
those things all lay in a refuse bin in my kitchen
and i thought the shock of the way i look would take time to get over
there was none
feel smooth/clean to the bone

ps. ill be updating a few times tomarrow over the last few days
ive been super busy with alot going on
unfortunatly i couldnt make it to carbondale to be with my friends
but me and Jason talked and we will schedule some face time before i leave
and i got my job issue taken care of, an

francescob @ 2006-12-13T07:55:00

2006-12-13T07:55:21Z

There is something terribly wrong with my sister